It is 7pm, Friday – hurrah! I might not work outside the home but I’m still allowed my own version of the end of the week feeling! And right now it is very welcome. This wouldn’t be a very honest (or interesting?) blog if I didn’t write about the rough as well as the smooth and I have found being a mum quite challenging this week. We’ve had a few bad nights sleep and it has made the days feel very long and hard work. It is difficult to set about my day with enthusiasm when I’m exhausted before it’s even begun! Jacob has also entered an extremely clingy phase in which he will ball his eyes out unless he is in my arms, which is very flattering but doesn’t get the washing up done. Or anything done for that matter! I can be right next to him – literally right next to him – and he will be utterly heartbroken unless I pick him up so I have had to put aside my own need to get stuff done and just slow down and cuddle him. This morning, during one such episode, I put the radio on and Desert Island Discs was playing. The guest had picked out some pretty upbeat tunes including Waka Waka by Shakira and Jai Ho from the film Slumdog Millionaire so I danced around with Jacob in my arms and he was so delighted and happy to be dancing with his mummy. It gave my heart such a lift and I realised that I would probably have missed that moment if I had persevered with trying to clear up the kitchen and stick to my own schedule. Lesson learned!
It has always helped me when I am frustrated or feeling like a failure to ask myself: what went right this week? There is always something, no matter how small. My answer this week would be that Jacob clapped for the first time and I have been clapping at him like an insane monkey with cymbals for weeks and weeks so I was thrilled about this! He also climbed an entire flight of stairs without help, which terrified and delighted me in equal measure. He got his first tooth at last! And one night he slept through the night for only the second time in his young life. Danny and I managed a date night at home with a movie and a couple of M&S meals which was fun and gave me a welcome night off cooking. I’ve also managed to catch up with some great friends and I have enjoyed reading some interesting books.
When I look at my week that way my perspective shifts entirely and it’s impossible to feel negative. I’m a little kinder to myself and remember that I have never been a mum before and Jacob has never been on this earth before so there is grace for both of us! If you have had a week of ups and downs, no matter if you are a mother or not, try asking yourself what went right this week and see if it doesn’t shift your attitude.
Have yourself a wonderful weekend!